Was that okay?

Under Tier 4 CV19 restrictions and random channel surfing. I chance upon a conversation snippet -Oprah Winfrey on Bloomberg. Oprah is narrating key learning from her experience of 25 years of interviewing.

Whether it is an interview with a man in prison on life sentence or interviews with Presidents Barack Obama and G. Bush or with Beyonce, at this end of every interview Oprah noticed the same question was posed to her – “Was that okay/ How was it? And through this question, everyone is essentially asking two things-Did you hear me? Did that mean anything to you? Oprah says that this question led to her aiming to listen with the two questions in mind, with the intention of validating that the interviewee taking the time to speak to Oprah is because the person matters.

What if we were to translate this to every human interaction, every encounter, every conversation, every debate, every argument? Isn't every person looking for- Did you hear me? Did that mean anything to you?

Can we do this, yes? To begin with by listening deeply. By being genuinely curious about someone else's story. By engaging in listening with the 'ears, eyes, and heart'. Listening beyond the words that are spoken can be underestimated. Paying attention to the importance of body language and also of what isn’t said, not just what is said. The choice of words, the emotions behind it.

Bring your heart and mind to the conversation, by hearing more than the words of the speaker the unspoken needs, and feelings conveyed. It is something that is done with the heart as well as the mind.

This possible only when we are present in the conversation. Often we have a parallel conversation running in our minds, the smart answers, the checklists, the agenda, or desired outcome- drop those, be in the here and now.

Being non-judgemental in our interactions. Our judgments get picked quicker than we think.

And when we judge, we automatically stop the person from being open, expressing myself/ herself the best they can. The interaction is no longer positive, it's half-dead the moment judgment creeps in. When we are open, and seeking to understand, there is transference in openness, and that's when real conversations happen.

Finally by appreciating the time and effort the person made to have the conversation, the energy they brought to encounter. They came to you to be heard and it's important to validate that the person you are speaking to is important, you hear them and you appreciate the effort he/she made.

Does this make sense? Was this okay??